Monday, September 6, 2010

Eutychus Signs Up for Class

Today we find our friend, Eutychus, signing up for his college classes this semester. He has been assigned to a counselor whose job it is to help Eutychus get set for school.

Counselor: "I have very pleased to tell you, Eutychus, that every student here at PCU (Politically Correct University) is given a computer when they matriculate."

Eutychus: "A computer! Really!" (Eutychus had wanted a computer since he arrived in the 21st century)

Counselor: "Well, yes, it is a computer. But candidly, it isn't a very good computer, but before long the internet virus' will eat the hardrive, so who cares?" (The counselor said this with a laugh)

Counselor: "Now, it is important to remember, Eutychus, that what matters here at PCU is that you do all your work on the computer. In fact, we want you to live on the computer, spend as much time as you can on the computer. Get information on the computer, make friends through the computer, be entertained on the computer, why if we could figure it out we would feed you through the computer. And concerning class - we don't care if you go to class or not. The professors put their lectures on our new academic software 'BlueBoard.' You can read the professor's lectures, take the tests, email and dialogue with other students, and even post your class attendance, all on the computer."

Eutychus: "But why should a student go to class? Why do you have classrooms or a campus at all? Why not just make the university an online school?"

Counselor: "What! We are not 'one of those schools'. Besides, online school would get most of the college administration fired. We can't have that."

Eutychus: "But you don't encourage class attendance and personal contact?"

Counselor: "Well...I'm not suppose to say this, but we here at PCU are trying to impress the accreditation group. And of course, with the use of computers we can lower our cost, and that makes more money for the university. And that is what it is all about."

Eutychus: "What is it all about?"

Counselor: "Making money!"

Eutychus: "I thought education was the issue?"

Counselor (laughing very loudly): "I can see you have a lot to learn in the 21st century academic environment.

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