Eutychus Goes to College

Today we find our beloved hero, Eutychus, enrolling in college. This is quite a new experience for our friend, Eutychus. Higher education is different today that the first century. Eutychus had some major surprises ahead.

Eutychus met with an enrollment counselor. This was supposed to get Eutychus all "fixed up and ready to go."

Counselor: "So, Son, are you ready for school to start?" Eutychus: "You bet, ready to go." Counselor: "Great, let's get started. First, let's get some classes arranged, then we will go over the rules of college life here at Politically Correct University, or PCU. You will, of course, take the required class on Tolerance; this is required for all students at PCU. We must be tolerant of all people and all beliefs."

Eutychus: "Sounds good. We should be tolerant of each other in love. By the way, is there a Christian Bible study on campus." Counselor (grimacing like he was gut-shot): "O no, we can't be tolerant of that; that is most intolerable!"

Eutychus (his forehead wrinkled with confusion): "I thought you said...never mind." Counselor: "Now, let's get on to one of your classes. We need to enroll you in the 'All cultures are good except Western culture' class." Eutychus: "But isn't that contradictory to say all cultures are good except...?" Counselor (with a smirk): "You are new here, and it is obvious you need to be educated, so I will let this pass. But, son, you need to understand that the obvious reason for the degeneracy of the entire world is based on the American Christian culture, probably a hold over from the Puritanical ramblings of early Christians. You will soon learn that the reason for all the world's problems is conservative Christian American middle class culture. The answer to every problem is liberal compassion, kindness, and understanding which needs to be tyrannically forced on all people, for their own good."

Eutychus was really confused now. He stammered, "But isn't your viewpoint just a biased and baseless way to manipulate others and force your worldview upon them? Isn't that intolerant?" The Counselor was a bit miffed, and said, "I can see you are going to need remedial training before we can enroll you into the 'Make Everyone Like Us' curriculum." Counselor: "Let's just start you with a simple class - Learning to be Tolerant of the Intolerably Tolerant and Learning to be Intolerant of the Intolerably Tolerably Intolerant." Eutychus let out a sigh; it was going to be a long semester.